i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
