There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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