Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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