I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
