Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just invented taco cereal.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
