Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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