Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
