using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
