based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
home. puking in laundry basket.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
