Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
