is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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