i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Randomize
