bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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