do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
