pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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