god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
