My room smells like vodka and shame
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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