i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
