so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
