I think I died a long time ago.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
