Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
