ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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