I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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