Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
