Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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