no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
