Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
