Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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