Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
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Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
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The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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