oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Girls should come with a carfax report
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
