Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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