ugly people sure do ruin things
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my being single is dangerous.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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