dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
