Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
