Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the condom got lost in my hair
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
