Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
