Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
