My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize