That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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