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The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
