the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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