My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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