ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
