there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
