Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
