you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
