The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
