I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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