Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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