life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize