I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
