I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
