the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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