i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i think i just lost a toe
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.