And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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