yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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