so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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