Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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