fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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